can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Randomize
