O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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