i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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