well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
