On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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