Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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