she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
