I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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