Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
