we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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