Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize