She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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