My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
