I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
i think im in europe. pls send help
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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