first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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