I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Drunk is not a location!
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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