can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize