How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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