How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
