waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
