At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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