No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
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