I should be sponsored by Trojan
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
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