Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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