I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
