There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize