wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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