He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
