We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
