He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
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