Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
