You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
