drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Randomize
