Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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