I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
She's just so happy...and so naked.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
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