So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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