I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Randomize
