I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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