Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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