I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
She tied me up with her honor cords...
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Randomize
