I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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