she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
