Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize