OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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