So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Randomize
