i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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