We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize