I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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