Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
the liver wants what the liver wants
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
