where am i from again
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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