question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
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