well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I touched a dick in church today
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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