there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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