Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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