i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
