she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Randomize
