And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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