wat bout pragnant strippers??
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize