I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
