Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
We don't watch enough power rangers
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Randomize
