Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize